Amazing Writing: Before and After

One of our Y5 pupils has been working after school on his writing. He’s had 1:1 tuition with Mrs Weet. Just the other day, he came to show me how his original piece of writing had been developed and improved. I was blown away! Here is the before and after. Well done Moustafa.

Before

She finally swoops in and grabs that bag and climbed the tree and shook all of dreams. As soon as the last happy ending flew out it all went back to normal and Jack ran back home and slept.

After

Sneekily, Jack slunk towards the eerie, elderly, wicked witch. With a glare, Jack snatched the bag from the witche’s twig like hands. Jack scampered backwards like a badger as the witch lunged towards the bag full of dreams. As quick as a flash, Jack scaled the trunk of the tallest tree. Jack could’nt reach the branch. She stretched her hands upwards. She jumped. Her fingers clung onto the rough branch. She pulled her self up, her heart beating rapidly. While Jack pulled open the bag, the witch tried to catch up with Jack. As soon as Jack opened the bag, the happy endings flew out like birds.

Progress in Writing: Before and After

I always love reading work from pupils. I love to see the pride in their faces when they show me. In our school, our pupils work so hard to improve their writing. They carefully read their teacher’s marking, they self edit their work (or others’), they try hard with their handwriting in order to acquire the ‘pen licence’; and they always try to make the most current piece of writing show the progress they have made since September. 

Have a look at these examples: 

Amazing Writers!

At the end of last week I was thrilled to read so much quality writing. The Y6s showed me several great starts to their versions of the story of: how the Chinese New Year was named after animals. All four have beautiful presentation and each story was individual. I could detect a personal style in their writing.

y6-writers

Cayleigh and Tamzin in Y5  have produced wonderful pieces of writing. Their language is very descriptive and they both paint vivid pictures in my mind through their choice of words.

And finally, I saw some great examples of ‘Before’ and ‘After’ writing in Y4. Just look at the progress both children have made.

Why I love my job…

Today, I read a lot of e-mails; completed some very important forms on our school data and end of year predictions; and had to look at the hours my teaching assistants are working so I can get prepared for the next, financial new year. In amongst all this, I had some very special visits from the special pupils in our school. And this is why I love my job…

Take a look…

Year 4 are writing myths. Beowulf stories are looking great in both classes. Ashton and Chloe were very proud to share their myths. You can read them below. Why not look out for the similes, fronted adverbials, figurative language and any tricky words accurately spelled?

y4-writers-myths

I am so proud of Kaleb in Y4! I always like to look at the first and last pieces of writing. I am astonished! When I pointed it out, Kaleb was too! Take a look for yourself. He has made so much progress. This lunchtime I bumped in to his big sister. I told her the good news. She wanted to look at his work too. She told me that she was so pleased about this because she has been working with him on his handwriting at home. 

kaleb-before-and-after-writing

I had a special visit from the nursery children. Some have only been here a few weeks, since they turned three. Nevertheless, they still get asked to do home work and here are their masterpieces! I love how versatile cotton wool is. 

nursery-homework